(CAR HORN) VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite celebrities...

It's not worth a tenner.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... You're learning.

VO: ..and a classic car.

This is very exciting, isn't it?

It is.

VO: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

Got a nice ring to it.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

Come on.

VO: But it's no easy ride.

RICHARD: Brake.

DOMINIC: I can't!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

I hope I don't live to regret this.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

We've definitely got a problem.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

You'd never catch me buying anything like that.

VO: There will be worthy winners... (THEY CHEER) VO: ..and valiant losers.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah.

VO: Today's antique investigators will be asking all the right questions.

It's their job, after all.

There's a funny smell coming out of the car.

Is that alright?

It's fine.

What's the worst thing that can happen?

Well, it could explode.

Cars don't explode.

It's a great myth.

They only explode in a TV show.

VO: Quite.

That's top TV newsman Krishnan Guru-Murthy behind the wheel.

His co-anchor, the equally brilliant broadcaster, and sister, Geeta Guru-Murthy.

GEETA: I have done a tiny bit of research on antiques, and I think the way to make the most money is to bring the price down.

The way to make the most money is to pay less?

(LAUGHS) Yes!

VO: See?

Straight to the nub.

Krishnan is the main anchor for Britain's Channel 4 News program.

Geeta is also a renowned journalist and presenter, well known for her appearances over on BBC News.

Have you got your lap belt on?

GEETA: Yes, I have.

KRISHNAN: Cuz it looks... ..like we're not wearing seat belts.

GEETA: I know.

KRISHNAN: They're classic cars.

VO: And this one dates from a time before three-point belts were mandatory.

Isn't this is a Starsky and Hutch car?

KRISHNAN: No, no.

GEETA: Are you sure?

Yeah, it was a Ford Torino, I think.

VO: He's right.

This one's a Mustang.

GEETA: It's quite squeaky.

And the windows don't close.

Well, it's an old car.

It's almost antique.

100 years, it's got to be, to be officially legally antique, I think.

VO: Someone's done their research.

They've also got £400 each, of course, plus the services of esteemed experts Steven Moore and Tim Medhurst.

So, two news hounds, two antique hounds.

I think...

I think it's going to be a good one, this one, Steven.

Absolutely.

VO: There's just one burning issue.

Oh, my goodness.

It's making a funny noise now, and it's smelling terribly... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) We've definitely got a problem.

Because it's making a squeaking noise.

Should we get out?

VO: Good idea...

Better safe than sorry.

KRISHNAN: I think we've killed the car.

GEETA: Oh.

I told you you were a rubbish driver!

I told you it's not my fault.

GEETA: This is a great car... KRISHNAN: It's never my fault.

GEETA: It is totally your fault with your appalling driving.

I can't believe this car has actually stopped and we are in the middle of Oxfordshire.

KRISHNAN: It's fine.

GEETA: I mean, it's not raining.

VO: Don't worry!

The shop's not far.

Our siblings will be going to War...field later on, in Berkshire.

But they begin in Oxfordshire at Tetsworth... ..where in the Grade II Elizabethan former coaching inn, they now have a restaurant and an antique center, The Swan.

So, first place.

It looks huge.

Looks massive.

Furniture, jewelry?

What do you think?

KRISHNAN: Yeah, jewelry's a good shout.

VO: They're back on good terms.

Apparently, the original inn was founded by monks from the local abbey.

No brewing on the premises these days, although they do host auctions.

And there's our two experts, hard at work.

£400 each to spend, remember.

Tim, hello.

TIM: Krishnan.

Lovely to meet you.

Nice to see you.

Sorry I'm late.

We had a bit of trouble with the car.

Oh, that's alright.

Classic.

Yeah.

So, have you ever been antique shopping before?

Not a lot, to be honest.

TIM: OK. You know, a little bit of sort of browsing around when we were kids.

I kind of slightly don't even know where to start in a place like this.

TIM: OK...

So, should we get on with it and have some rummaging?

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

TIM: Let's see what we can find.

VO: That's one team up and running.

Don't worry, Geeta, he'll be around here somewhere.

STEVEN: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest antiques expert of them all?

Well, that'll be me, won't it, obviously?

But anyway, dreams over.

Oh, hello!

That remains to be seen!

I was just having a little private moment with myself.

Good morning.

Steven, lovely to meet you.

Lovely to meet you.

So, antiques.

Yay?

Nay?

I would love to find some Asian art.

STEVEN: OK.

..I don't know if there's anything like that here.

I love paintings, drawings...

Right... ..but know very little.

VO: Steven's here to help.

What does this do for you?

GEETA: The couch?

STEVEN: This is a hall bench of 1740, 1750.

But it's been Jane Austen-ized.

Jane Austen.

Now you're talking my language.

Did you know that I'm married to a Mr Collins?

Not a Mr Darcy.

I didn't find a Mr Darcy.

I did find a Mr Collins!

I didn't know that!

OK.

Right.

VO: Here we go.

Am I going to actually lie down?

STEVEN: Yes.

GEETA: How's that?

I think you look quite... VO: Elizabeth Bennet?

It actually feels rather nice.

I can imagine lying here and reading a bit of Pride And Prejudice.

STEVEN: Dreaming of Mr Collins.

Dreaming of Mr Collins!

VO: We know Geeta won't need an awful lot of "persuasion" to go full Georgian.

What about her, bro, though?

I love these things, you know.

It's a heavy Bakelite valve radio.

I'd have that in my own home.

The only thing is that the glass on the front is broken.

VO: Oh, dear.

KRISHNAN: Tim, could you just look at this for a second?

What do you think of this?

I mean, I really like these old radios.

But it does have this break in the glass.

TIM: Yeah, it's a shame.

It's a nice old Derwent one, isn't it?

Probably 1940s, I would think.

I don't know how difficult it would be to replace that glass.

Well, because the glass has got all the pattern on it...

It's got all of the frequencies and details, but it's a really cool-looking thing.

VO: There's no price on this one.

I can imagine with that damage, we might only be looking at maybe 20 or £30 in auction...

Right.

..for a radio like that.

So I think maybe we want to be going for a bigger profit margin.

KRISHNAN: It's not worth it.

TIM: Yeah.

VO: Radio failed the video star?

Hmm.

Sorry.

STEVEN: Geeta.

What grabs you on this table?

GEETA: Cricket balls.

A pile of cricket balls.

OK...

I've spent a fortune on cricket kit for my children over the years.

But 9.50 each?

I don't know if that's... STEVEN: "Bowl not for sale."

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Bowl not for sale!

Anything else?

GEETA: This looks... STEVEN: OK... GEETA: ..like something rather beautiful and smooth and that I would quite enjoy doing that with!

It's an auctioneer's gavel, and it's a nice thing.

VO: Gavels do usually sell very well.

We call it treen, because treen is small bits of collectable wood.

Right.

What does the dealer say?

"Treen gavel - £22."

It has a...it's a lovely color wood, isn't it?

And it feels really lovely, I think.

It's had years of handling.

It's got that lovely smoothness to it.

GEETA: Yes.

I can imagine having that and using it.

Shall we buy it?

I'd be quite tempted, yes.

It's dead cheap.

It is cheap.

Let's go for that one.

VO: Geeta's off the mark.

Krishnan, meanwhile, seems to be taking a very thorough approach.

It's a huge establishment, though, with a lot of very nice antiques.

KRISHNAN: So this is the kind of thing I can imagine mixing in with my modern furniture.

TIM: Yeah, I love the sort of real modern look mixed with statement pieces of antique.

KRISHNAN: How old is it?

So I would say 17th century.

KRISHNAN: I never used to like this kind of thing, that we used to see at antique fairs as kids.

But it seems to be coming back and more fashionable now.

VO: A set of four.

TIM: £450 for four chairs.

It's amazing to think you can buy a 17th-century carved oak chair, from all that time ago, for just over £100 each.

But it does show the sustainability in antique furniture as well.

If you think of like a chest of drawers or a desk, something like that, that you would go out and buy new now, you could just buy an antique one that's been going for 200 to 300 years and it will go on for another 200 to 300 years.

So why buy new when you can buy old?

VO: But when you only have £400 in total...?

KRISHNAN: Hello.

GEETA: Oh, hi.

Found anything reassuringly expensive?

GEETA: (LAUGHS) As long as I'm looking at jewelry, I'm generally quite happy.

But there's some lovely pearls here which are quite sweet... Keep spending.

Keep spending.

GEETA: (LAUGHS) See you later.

VO: No sign of that just yet.

A small gavel, the only likely purchase.

Although Joe is standing by for when required.

STEVEN: Hello.

Yes.

GEETA: Steven!

You've found rocking horses for me.

I love rocking horses and always wanted one when I was little... STEVEN: Aw... GEETA: ..but never had one.

Actually, it's not the rocking horse.

I'm sitting on a secret.

GEETA: OK... How does this grab you?

GEETA: Um... STEVEN: Not much, I can tell!

STEVEN: (LAUGHS) Not as much as the rocking horse.

STEVEN: Have a look at it.

Be an investigative journalist.

Investigate.

GEETA: Um...

So this says, "Coronation, 1937."

So what does that suggest?

Um, a piano stool made for the Coronation?

Not a piano stool.

Somebody who was actually at the Coronation of George VI and Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, sat on that stool in Westminster Abbey.

Right.

STEVEN: So this has witnessed history.

GEETA: Wow!

VO: The ceremony took place on the same date originally planned for his brother Edward, who'd abdicated five months before.

That could have had a very important bum on it.

GEETA: Not with this fabric, though.

STEVEN: No, you're right.

It would have been like a sea-green blue with a gold trim around it.

Would you reupholster it back to the original?

STEVEN: If it was me, I would put the velvet back on it... ..so it would look more like it was.

Shall we think about that and get a price on it?

Because it's quite a big proportion of our budget, potentially.

STEVEN: I like your style.

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Thank you!

STEVEN: Lead on.

VO: Things are hotting up all of a sudden.

TIM: Wow, look at this.

Every room is packed with things, isn't it?

It's slightly overwhelming, isn't it?

VO: Come on, chaps.

KRISHNAN: So what do you think of this?

TIM: That looks really interesting.

It looks like a classic scrapbook, to me, from the outside.

This is what makes it for me.

You've got the name of somebody.

It's always nice to connect something with an actual person.

"Louisa Talbot Talbot, 1866."

Shall we have a look inside?

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

Well, there's Victoria.

Yeah, there we are.

The lady herself, the Queen.

And it's nice that it opens straight onto that page, isn't it?

It's really beautiful.

It's amazingly fine, isn't it?

The paper, it's so thin.

TIM: Yes, well, it's silk.

And that's what strikes me about it being so unusual to start with, is you very rarely see these scrapbooks made with silk pages.

It would be quite a pricey thing to do, and a lot of time as well because she's hand-embroidered all of the edges of every single page.

So you wouldn't just buy it like this?

No.

This would have all been handmade and hand-put together.

And what she's done is she's got some of her favorite pictures and then cut them up and put them in this album.

VO: They were practically a Victorian invention.

KRISHNAN: I mean, we had scrapbooks as kids, and I remember my parents saying, you know, it's the way to preserve images.

And this...

They're amazingly well-kept.

TIM: Now, I was just looking and there's no price on this.

KRISHNAN: So it's frighteningly expensive?

TIM: Either that or free!

KRISHNAN: (LAUGHS) TIM: I always like finding things that have no price tickets because it's a bit of a surprise when you ask the price.

KRISHNAN: It's a beautiful thing.

I would like it myself.

TIM: Yeah.

And I haven't really seen stuff like this.

It's good.

Well, in auction, I could see a good scrapbook like this making between £200 and £300.

KRISHNAN: OK. TIM: Are you a keen negotiator?

I'm not hugely experienced, so... TIM: Alright, well, we'll do a bit of teamwork.

We'll work on it together.

VO: It looks like this is the one!

KRISHNAN: Hi there.

JOE: Hi.

TIM: Hi, Joe.

Good to see you again.

KRISHNAN: Quite interested in this, but there's no price on it.

I've got 220 down on this scrapbook here.

TIM: OK. A bit of negotiation, do you think?

Is there room to wiggle on it?

Well, er.... What was your thinking?

We kind of need to be nearer 180.

180... TIM: 180 would be ideal, if you can do that.

That would... JOE: OK. TIM: Yeah?

Under the 200?

I can do that for you.

TIM: Brilliant.

Thank you.

KRISHNAN: Really?!

VO: Well, that was nicely done.

Really pleased with that, aren't you?

Yeah.

Well, let's hope your valuation's right.

TIM: (LAUGHS) Deep breaths.

VO: Journalists have very good memories.

But while they depart in the newly-repaired motor with 220 remaining... KRISHNAN: Hold on.

TIM: Cor, that's got a good sound, hasn't it?

VO: ..how are the others getting on?

Oh, we found each other!

Hello, Steven.

STEVEN: Hello.

GEETA: Hi.

This is a warren, isn't it?

It's an absolute maze.

I know.

It's amazing.

An Aladdin's cave.

I wanted to show you this painting.

I love the fact that it's just bits of captured light and a woman sitting there, looks quite a young woman.

I just wondered what you think.

I mean, the price tag is £350.

STEVEN: If we bought at 350, we're left with £50 to buy for the rest of the trip.

OK. What do you think is going on here, though?

STEVEN: I think you're looking at it thinking it's dark and mysterious and interesting... ..but it's more dirt than mystery.

GEETA: OK.

The shop is really amazing because there's a lot of stuff that I would have walked past.

And then I met Steven and he has pointed out to me things that I think I literally would never have even picked up.

And, obviously, you need the expert's eye.

It's a real revelation to come here because I'm finding out that there are some little treasures here with real amazing stories behind them.

VO: And, talking of treasures, even if they do sometimes misbehave...

It's a lovely day, isn't it?

Top down.

TIM: It's beautiful.

I feel like I already know you so well because you're such a regular face on everybody's television.

Was it something you always wanted to do, or...?

No, I spent my youth thinking I was going to be a doctor like my dad.

Oh, wow.

And I got a place at medical school.

But then, in my summer before starting university, I did some work experience with the BBC and they said, actually, we'd like to screen-test you to take over as presenter of that show... Oh, wow.

..which they did and everything changed after that.

TIM: What's it like having your sister Geeta as a journalist, as well?

Yeah, it's good.

I think people assume that we'd be competitive and we're not really.

News organizations are.

Being on telly is fantastic and it's lovely being recognized and all those sorts of things, but it also has its pressures.

So the fact that Geeta and I do very similar things, know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a Twitter storm, or... ..you know, all that kind of stuff, it's quite good.

And now you're hunting for antiques.

VO: Yep.

Those two are nursing their gigantic motor towards another big shopping experience, this time in the busy center of Henley - on the Thames, of course.

Noted for its regatta, obviously, but less well known as the last resting place of the great Dusty Springfield.

Well... You see that?

Oh, yeah.

I like that a lot.

VO: Always wishing and hoping.

KRISHNAN: Shall we just see if we can have a look at that?

TIM: Yeah, good idea.

VO: A piggy in the window!

This looks old.

Yeah.

Yeah, it definitely is old.

It's not a new one, which is what we want to see.

It's carved wood.

And the best thing about it is the paint is all original.

You can see here the little chipping back to the wood.

This probably would have sat in a butcher's window as an advertising tool.

I'm imagining that there are eccentric people who collect pigs.

Absolutely, and also folk art.

This would come under that sort of category, and also advertising and that sort of kitchenalia, because it almost comes under that.

It's got that wonderful naivety to it.

VO: It could be anything from 60 to 90 years old.

KRISHNAN: Not quite antique.

TIM: Not quite antique, but getting there.

So to actually find these in reasonable condition, which this is, without any modern paint on it, is quite unusual.

I mean, it's not pretty, but I think, if my wife was here, she would say this reminds her of our Chihuahua because it's got pointy ears and it's a similar color.

The dog's a bit bigger, in truth, but I can imagine people liking that.

How much was the piggy in the window?

Has it got a ticket on it?

KRISHNAN: £50.

TIM: £50.

You'd want to get that down a bit, would you?

TIM: Yeah, a bit.

I find that a reasonable price to start with.

I could see it doing quite well in auction.

Shall we put it on the counter?

KRISHNAN: Yeah... And then see.

TIM: And get rummaging.

TIM: But it's nice to know that we've got something already.

VO: Who says that pigs don't fly, eh?

Because this one has, at Tudor House Antiques.

Remember, they have so far bought just one item, although they did manage to reduce their original £400 to 220 in the process.

TIM: Krishnan, look at this.

KRISHNAN: That's nice.

This is really nice.

This is a proper antique.

This actually could be quite early.

Most skillets are Georgian, that sort of period...

Right?

..so we're talking 18th century.

But this one strikes me that it could be a bit earlier than that.

On it, which is unusual, is a cross here.

On the other side, you've got what looks like sort of a...

They're known as witch's marks and they were to ward off evil spirits.

Quite a lot of skillets were, one, used for cooking, but another use for them back then was for medicine making and things like that.

So that would tie in with potentially the cross and the warding off evil.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Obviously medicine was magic then, wasn't it?

It cured people.

KRISHNAN: Hubble bubble, toil and trouble.

TIM: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

VO: Made of bronze.

Ticket price - £50.

TIM: But it's got a really nice patina.

That has had a lot of handling, a lot of wear, and these hot legs, they're just so nicely and naively formed, and you can just see how much use that has had over the years.

I mean, normally in auction, these make maybe £50, £80... TIM: ..without any markings.

KRISHNAN: Right.

TIM: So with markings...might make a bit more.

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

So shall I pop it back there?

But it's definitely food for thought, isn't it...?

KRISHNAN: Yes.

I think that's one to add to the list.

VO: Another great find.

Let's get back to Tetsworth now, where Geeta's still a-rummaging, although she does have this Coronation stool and also a wee gavel under consideration.

STEVEN: Geeta, what do you think of this?

GEETA: Um... STEVEN: Does it excite you, turn you on or turn you off?

It doesn't really excite me.

STEVEN: Well... GEETA: It looks quite dated and very worn out.

VO: Not impressed.

Ah.

STEVEN: Have you ever wondered why ceramic experts always look at the bottoms of things?

You're looking at some markings, but I've got no idea what.

STEVEN: Look at the bottom of that.

GEETA: OK... "A".

STEVEN: Yes, and?

GEETA: A crown on the top?

Yes?

Famous queen?

Anne?

Other country, over the Channel.

Um... She liked cake.

Do you want to phone a friend?

Marie Antoinette?

STEVEN: This was made at the Thiroux factory in Paris, the patron of which was Marie Antoinette.

And the reason they needed a royal patron was because gold was only allowed to be used by the Royal French factory, Sèvres, but, because they were patronized by the Queen, they could use gold as well.

GEETA: Wow!

STEVEN: This is £29.

And, although she didn't own it - well, she might have done but we don't know that - this is something connected to Marie Antoinette, for £29!

VO: All a long time before the Queen was executed in October 1793.

STEVEN: What I'm trying to say is this is so little money, and this is something which is 200 years old... GEETA: Yes.

STEVEN: ..and connected to the most famous queen in French history.

It's amazing to see that mark I have to say, yeah.

STEVEN: So, you see, sometimes you think something's just a boring old cake plate.

This could be the cake plate she ate cake from.

VO: Eh!

Vive la France!

A rapprochement.

GEETA: Hi there, Joe.

JOE: Hi.

Thank you so much for having us.

We've seen lots of things but a couple of things have stood out.

The first thing we wondered about was the Coronation stool.

JOE: Yeah.

Could you just give an idea of the price?

We've got £200 marked up on it.

So how much can you do it for?

I can do it for 180.

OK. 150?

I can push another tenner off it.

OK.

So the other things that we've seen are a little gavel, and a French plate.

I think the plate was 29 and the gavel was 22.

So 170 for the Coronation stool and I'll round the other two to 50.

Am I paying too much for all this?

Because we've only got £400.

I think it's on the right side of buy.

220?

Brilliant, it's a deal.

Thanks so much.

JOE: No problem.

GEETA: That's fantastic.

VO: Making the stool 170, the plate 28 and the gavel 22.

JOE: Good luck.

GEETA: Thank you.

VO: 180 left over.

I think we've done pretty well with this...

I think so.

I would literally have never bought these things... GEETA: ..without you.

STEVEN: Sold.

I'd have walked straight past.

Thank you!

STEVEN: No regrets?

Not yet.

GEETA: No regrets.

VO: Time now to hotfoot to Henley, where a piggy has been spotted in the window, along with a very old bronze skillet.

And we're currently out the back.

Anything else here, fellas?

TIM: Krishnan?

KRISHNAN: Yeah?

TIM: What do you think of this column?

What?

What is it?

I mean, it's quite decadent, isn't it?

TIM: Yeah, it is.

I suppose originally it would have been made for either putting a bust or maybe a jardiniere with a big, flowering plant in the top.

Right.

TIM: But what it is now is a really cool decorative thing.

The best thing about it for me is, the column is unusual in that it's made of glass, not marble.

KRISHNAN: How do they get that color?

TIM: Well, it's a hollow piece of glass, really thick, and it's been painted from the inside, So, it's reverse-painted glass to resemble marble.

And the bottom here has a sheet of glass, and around the base has been painted in the same color way.

And it's kind of emulating that almost Egyptian or Etruscan revival which was so popular in the late 19th, early 20th century, and it would have looked, at the time, so grand.

KRISHNAN: Who would want that?

TIM: Who would want it now?

The great thing about this one is, it's not one massive column that would only fit in a large house.

It's quite small.

Yeah.

So you could have it in a conservatory room, or even a bedroom or something, with a potted plant.

I think a lot of people like a house plant, don't they?

VO: They do.

A wee bit damaged, though.

TIM: He's got £95 on it.

If you were thinking you might want to buy something like that, maybe you could get the price down.

What do you think about it now?

I'm trying to think, you know, would you buy that at auction for much more than we'll pay for it, given it's damaged?

TIM: Mm.

I think if it didn't have the damage, I'd very comfortably say maybe £300 to £500.

I think it's probably quite a scarce thing to even find with the original glass column.

VO: Shopkeeper David will be the man to talk to.

Dave, we love your shop.

Thank you very much.

KRISHNAN: You've got some great stuff.

The column of the back, you've got that up at 95.

I need to see what I can...get.

TIM: We're not asking you to slash the price of the column, but if you could slash it, that would be great.

DAVE: 50 quid.

TIM: That is slashing the price.

KRISHNAN: That's slashing the price.

We really like the bronze skillet.

Yeah.

KRISHNAN: And that's 50 quid?

TIM: Yeah.

KRISHNAN: And the pig is 50 quid as well.

DAVE: So 50 quid for the two.

TIM: Is that what you're going?

DAVE: Yeah.

KRISHNAN: 50 quid for both?

Oh, we'll definitely take those, yeah?

KRISHNAN: In that case, I think those two and the column.

TIM: Yeah?

KRISHNAN: For 100 quid.

TIM: OK?

DAVE: Yeah.

There's not any more you could do on that, is there?

Well, I'll do another tenner off.

That'll be it - 90 quid.

KRISHNAN: 90 quid?

DAVE: 90 quid, yeah.

You're a gentleman.

VO: He certainly is.

KRISHNAN: Thanks very much.

VO: The column for just 40, the pig, 25, and the pot, also 25... ..leaving 130 for tomorrow.

So, three things, and one of them is definitely the oddest thing I've bought in a while.

VO: Now, time for a bit of a family reunion.

You're really, really in the middle of the road here.

KRISHNAN: I'm not in the middle of the road.

Oh!

In terms of who should be driving here... ..how many crashes have you had?

I think fewer than you, to be honest.

Well, I've had two, and neither of them were my fault.

It depends how you define fault, doesn't it?

I mean... Also, I...

I think I passed my test much quicker than you.

No, I passed first time, and you took two goes.

You're talking rubbish!

GEETA: I'm going to check with Mum and Dad.

VO: Ah... Nighty night.

GEETA: So, do you trust my driving?

I remember you driving me home from the pub when I was a teenager.

But I don't think you've driven me much since then.

I don't think we've actually been on a road trip... GEETA: Yeah.

..since we went to Brussels.

Yeah.

And we haven't worked together for... KRISHNAN: 30 years?

GEETA: (LAUGHS) ..30 years.

VO: Plus, they weren't trying to buy antiques to make a profit at auction then, either.

KRISHNAN: I'm intrigued to see what you've got, actually, because yesterday I was telling Tim that we're not really competitive.

And that we kind of, you know, more sort of help each other out.

GEETA: Mm!

And I woke up this morning feeling slightly competitive.

GEETA: (LAUGHS) KRISHNAN: I'd be really annoyed if you've made loads of money.

GEETA: I thought you might feel that.

VO: But not if he made even more.

And yesterday, to that end, Krishnan acquired a whole pile of stuff, including a wooden pig, a glass column, a skillet pan, and a scrapbook... KRISHNAN: That's really beautiful.

Amazingly well-kept.

VO: ..leaving him with £130 for today's purchases.

But let's find out what his sis thinks.

TIM: Oh, look at that.

KRISHNAN: Oh, my goodness me!

What is this?

Have you been to a farmer's market or something?

KRISHNAN: (LAUGHS) You've gone for...

I don't know what that is.

That, apparently, would have been in the window of a butcher's shop.

GEETA: Yeah, OK. TIM: All that sort of advertising memorabilia as a decorative piece in your kitchen is always popular.

OK, I believe you.

Well, staying on the kitchen theme, you've got a pot.

KRISHNAN: This is actually one of my favorite things.

I'd like to have this myself.

It's a piece of bronze.

It's heavy bronze, and it's very old.

TIM: This one, I think it might have been for making medicine.

Maybe from the 1600s.

Yeah.

I like the look of that, actually.

VO: Geeta, meanwhile, was just as busy in the buying department, picking up a gavel, a compote dish, and a stool with history...

This says "Coronation 1937."

VO: ..meaning she now has £180 left.

You've been to a junk shop.

Thank you very much.

We've got the sort of pudding plate.

It's a bit worn, and it is a bit chipped, so I'm a little bit worried about that.

But... Who made it?

When you turn it over, there's an "A" on it with a crown.

And my very wise friend here thinks that's of interest.

Not thinks, know... Well... (LAUGHS) It was a factory under the patronage of Marie Antoinette, no less.

And if it doesn't sell, you're going to auction it yourself with your own hammer?

Moore and Guru-Murthy, the new auctioneers.

GEETA: You could put it on a desk, you know, a formal desk, couldn't you?

KRISHNAN: That's not a bad idea.

TIM: Very tactile.

GEETA: And it is.

It just feels lovely.

Alright, enough.

You know, stop.

GEETA: Exactly!

KRISHNAN: Yes.

So a bit more shopping to do?

Yeah, I think so.

GEETA: OK. May the best man or woman win.

TIM: (CHUCKLES) VO: Well said!

Today's adventures will be commencing in Whitchurch-on-Thames.

Right next to the banks of the mighty river, and home to some very clever people who create natural dyes using products gathered from their garden and the surrounding countryside, where they'll be taking a brief break from antique hunting to find out about this traditional and sustainable practice.

GEETA: OK. VO: No taking it easy, though.

Come on, put your back into it!

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Do you know, I've not seen Krishnan dig a garden for about...30 or 40 years.

Quite a long time, so... GEETA: This is taking me right back.

The more we have, the more we can dye.

Great.

OK. VO: Romilly Swann knows that most natural dyes derive from vegetable sources.

So what are we digging up here?

What do we get here?

ROMILLY: This is the madder root.

It grows quite extensively, but then also has these much fleshier roots, which is where most of the dye is.

So, with this one, it's quite nice just because it's kind of quite swollen.

So when you break it, you can see you've got like kind of quite juicy stuff.

And then, if we watch, then we'll find it gets redder as the oxygen gets to it.

That's like rusting in front of your eyes, isn't it?

ROMILLY: I know, isn't it?

Yeah.

And the red we get, is it sort of Steven red or, or that kind of like... STEVEN: Wishy washy Tim red.

KRISHNAN: ..wish washy Tim red?

That's very polite of you.

Yes.

We could get a wishy washy red.

The bright red we could do as well, but we would need to change mordants for that.

KRISHNAN: What's a mordant?

So, a mordant is what chemically sticks the dye to the textile.

So you've got the textile, which has got certain amount of chemical links sticking out of it, and the dye that has a certain amount of chemical links.

And the mordant sits in the middle and holds hands with both.

VO: Romilly and her friends are following a long tradition of natural dye-making.

The very first synthetic dye was only discovered as recently as 1856, but they were so quickly taken up by the textile industry that within a few years, William Morris and Co were attempting to revive what they perceived as a threatened craft.

So, how far back does this go in terms of being used for dyeing?

It's an interesting question because, archaeologically, the earliest finds go back to about 4,500 years, but the earliest example of a textile being dyed goes back to 30,000 years... KRISHNAN: Wow!

ROMILLY: ..in a cave in Georgia.

ROMILLY: It might not have been madder that they were using, but humans would have been fascinated by this, probably from the beginning of time.

VO: Madder is a native plant which once dyed the bright red uniforms for soldiers, and the history of clothing and its color is also a history of class and power, like the law, which once ensured that only the wealthy wore purple.

ROMILLY: It's a bit like digging for treasure.

Just possibly less exciting.

KRISHNAN: (LAUGHS) Yes.

Why are they standing around?

ROMILLY: (CHUCKLES) Well... GEETA: (LAUGHS) VO: Good question.

Everything here is simple and sustainable, including the flock of Shetland and Boreray sheep who supply the fleece for yarn and felt.

And Geeta and Steven will be taking a peep at that bit next, along with Flow Stone.

So the best bit is here on the shoulders... GEETA: Yeah.

FLOW: ..and the second-best, if you like... FLOW: ..is along the side here.

GEETA: OK. And also at the top of the thighs.

So these are her back legs.

GEETA: Yes.

FLOW: This is her front legs.

So, even within one fleece, there's different grades of wool?

Absolutely.

VO: And once it's been washed, it's ready for the antique French wool picker.

FLOW: So, this is just opening up the fleece.

As you can see, it comes out at the other end a lot fluffier.

And also the bits of dried vegetable matter are hopefully dropping through the cracks.

GEETA: Amazing.

And it looks like candyfloss.

Yeah.

Do you want to give it a go?

I think I'd better.

Thank you very much.

I am going to sit side-saddle.

Bit of wool first, yeah?

FLOW: Yep.

Have a good handful.

GEETA: Right.

And then I just swing this, yeah?

Gently...

Try and do a longer swing.

Go for it.

Go on.

GEETA: So, after this, just take us through what happens.

FLOW: So, once it's been beautifully dyed, we sell it to people who are making felt, or to hand spinners using old traditional skills to make themselves clothes and things like that.

VO: Hear, hear!

Now back to the madder crowd... ..washed and then added to a vat.

And haven't they turned out nicely?

KRISHNAN: That is amazing.

FLOW: It is amazing, isn't it?

VO: Alongside vats containing dyes from other equally natural products.

KRISHNAN: Right, so we've got red, blue and yellow.

So where do these come from?

This is weld, which is quite a lurid yellow.

Look at that.

ROMILLY: (GIGGLES) VO: And for blue socks... Woad, from the cabbage family.

This is a modern adaptation of the original woad vat, that would have been a fermentation vat.

Queen Elizabeth, she decided that no one was to grow or process woad.

I think it was within eight miles of any place that she might reside.

The whole process was just utterly disgusting.

So these are a sort of kind of weird greeny yellow underneath there at the moment.

But when they come into contact with the air, they're going to do something pretty extraordinary.

OK, so definitely kind of bluey greeny.

TIM: Yeah, they look quite yellow.

ROMILLY: Yep.

But they're changing.

ROMILLY: And if I squeeze the liquid out of them, then you should see that they'll turn...much more blue.

TIM: Wow, look at that.

It's like a chameleon.

KRISHNAN: That is amazing.

ROMILLY: What this is, is witchcraft.

Here we are with our cauldrons... KRISHNAN: Yeah.

..and our wands and transforming things.

KRISHNAN: So, are we seeing any of this now coming back into the clothing industry?

Absolutely.

I mean, my interest in natural dyeing was through questioning the dyes that we are actually wearing.

I mean, at the moment, none of us have any idea what dyes we're wearing next to our skin, whereas these traditional dyes that have been used for thousands of years, you know, they're tried and trusted.

And, you know, this is a sustainable way of dyeing that I think does have a place in the future.

VO: Time to show them off to some potential consumers.

GEETA: Hello!

KRISHNAN: Hi there.

What are you cooking here?

Well...yeah, we made you some socks to go with your... STEVEN: Eugh!

KRISHNAN: ..your coat.

Do you think they're telling us something here?

GEETA: That's amazing!

KRISHNAN: Quite close, isn't it?

GEETA: It's very close.

It's very close.

When it's dried, I think it'll be an exact match.

How long will it take to dry?

I think probably...half an hour or something like that.

VO: Done naturally, of course.

Although Geeta doesn't really have the time, what with all the shopping she still has to do.

GEETA: You need so much knowledge to really understand what you're buying.

I mean, I don't know much about the details of the sorts of antiques that we're seeing now, but we do, as a family, go to a lot of galleries and museums and, you know, sort of ancient sites.

So the love for old stuff's there... GEETA: Yes.

I just need to drag it out of you.

GEETA: It's, no, it's art and it's furniture.

Our homes, I suppose, are also quite a big mixture of a lot of Indian artifacts, pieces of sculpture or bronzes, mixed with Western pieces... Well, India has an incredible heritage of decorative arts... GEETA: Yes.

..and paintings and textiles.

We might even find some!

GEETA: That'd be lovely.

STEVEN: That'd be good.

VO: Geeta's next buying opportunity awaits, further along the Thames, at Reading, where Jane Austen went to school, and we're off to Fanny's.

STEVEN: (LAUGHS) Oh!

VO: Bit more, Geeta?

STEVEN: Oh... GEETA: Oh!

GEETA: I'm not going any further forward.

VO: Wise decision.

That car is a beast.

STEVEN: It's not the most dignified.

VO: We'll get it parked properly right away, while you obey the sign... ..with £180 remaining.

STEVEN: Hours and hours of fun.

VO: So what will they plump for?

STEVEN: Now, shelf of glass.

Which is the bit that stands out to you?

Oh...that's a nice color.

STEVEN: OK.

Yes.

You're warm.

GEETA: This one?

STEVEN: Hot!

Red hot!

STEVEN: So, it says "etched glass bell".

It's not just a bell.

It's got a little inscription on the front.

"New Year's Gift to Miss Everett, 1888."

You look inside and there's a hook and you think there should be the clapper for the bell.

STEVEN: But it's not for a bell.

GEETA: OK. STEVEN: It's for a watch.

GEETA: Really?!

Why would you not just put a watch down on the table?

She'd hang it on the hook, she'd be able to see the dial through the gap there.

But also the bell would hide the ticking.

GEETA: So that you can see, but not hear?

STEVEN: Yes, exactly.

And it's £35.

£35... Should we be purchasing that?

I think that's enough money.

But it's interesting, though.

GEETA: OK. STEVEN: They've got "as found".

STEVEN: Which means they think the clapper is missing.

And what's missing is the gold watch!

GEETA: Oh, OK. STEVEN: (LAUGHS) Yes.

So we just need to find the Rolex.

Let's go find the gold watch.

What a good idea!

GEETA: (LAUGHS) VO: The search goes on.

GEETA: What an incredibly cute chair!

Says here, "Chair combi table."

"Chable", it could be... (TITTERS) Oh!

VO: Mind your fingers!

STEVEN: What do you think of this?

Now, it's not the most beautiful thing, but it's... GEETA: It looks very interesting.

It's a political cartoon of 1831, I think.

So this is King William IV, would you believe, who's referred to as Billy Blubber.

And this is the Archbishop of Ireland, who's obviously offering some money.

And it's the Irish Church Bill, which is the split from the English and the Irish church.

STEVEN: Yes.

GEETA: The disestablishment.

VO: And "antidisestablishmentarianism" is of course one of the longest words in the dictionary.

And I think the depiction of the bishop kind of so fat and ugly and the king as so diminutive, crying, pulling his little hobbyhorse along and with his big belly and his big bum...

..I think that that would be quite shocking today.

Or maybe, do you think...?

Do you?

Do you really?

I mean, political satire is really, really sharp at the moment, isn't it?

And having stood outside Downing Street for endless Conservative Prime Ministers being forced out of office...

This is like your day-to-day work!

Yeah, I mean, politics is a brutal business.

And wherever power resides, wherever divisions reside, you get comment, even if it's harsh.

So, do you know who collects political cartoons?

GEETA: MPs?

(LAUGHS) STEVEN: Absolutely!

GEETA: Journalists?

Yes.

STEVEN: MPs, journalists.

People in your profession.

And your, your prey, shall we say?

I'm glad you say it's a profession, not a trade.

STEVEN: No, no, of course!

But have you noticed something else about it?

STEVEN: It's only £22.

GEETA: Aha!

STEVEN: For almost 200 years of biting political satire.

GEETA: Let's do it.

STEVEN: It's a no-brainer.

GEETA: Thank you for finding that.

Brilliant.

VO: I think they're quite chuffed.

Hello, Julia.

Oh, hi there.

We have found a political satire print cartoon, which we would love to buy from you, if that's alright?

Yeah.

That will suit you.

It's 22.

£22, OK.

But it could be more if you want.

VO: Nice try, Julia.

GEETA: Thank you.

Bye bye.

JULIA: Bye.

Thanks, bye bye.

VO: 158 left.

Looking good!

Time now for the last shop of the trip, in the village of Warfield at the Old Grain Barn.

Or OGB for short.

Although they won't have it all to themselves.

It's Wedgwood.

My mum would like all that.

VO: Because Krishnan and Tim are already barnstorming, ah-ha, with £130 in hand.

TIM: What are you looking at there?

KRISHNAN: It's an old film camera.

Cine camera.

KRISHNAN: It's a lovely thing.

TIM: Great machinery.

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

This is in really good condition, actually.

It's incredible with its original box.

Yeah.

And the instructions.

It says, "Victor Animatograph Corporation, based in Iowa."

And it's got all the instructions.

VO: In 1923, Kodak invented the smaller 16mm film format, and the Victor Company produced the first suitable camera.

KRISHNAN: The first TV shoot I ever went on, I think it was six people... Wow!

..to work everything and carry everything and make it go.

And these days, it's all digital and tiny.

It's a good spot.

What sort of price are we looking at?

TIM: £80.

Well... KRISHNAN: Yeah...

It's probably just people like me who are interested in this, so I suspect there's not a lot of profit in it.

TIM: Shall we carry on looking?

KRISHNAN: OK. TIM: Let's go this way.

VO: That Krishnan sure wants to win!

And here comes his sis, equally determined to triumph.

GEETA: We need to spend a lot of money, so let's hope we find some goodies.

VO: Well, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

A very handy £158 remaining in their kitty, remember.

STEVEN: I wondered what the racket was.

What have you found?

GEETA: Sorry!

STEVEN: Don't worry.

GEETA: I think it's a stool, and I actually rather like it.

It's very smart.

It's arts and crafts.

It was kind of that idea of getting back to simpler, more crafty-made things.

Probably more a table than a stool.

GEETA: Right.

I mean, how much is it?

Does that say 75?

GEETA: It is 75.

Yes.

STEVEN: I don't think it's expensive.

GEETA: Right.

STEVEN: If we could get that... STEVEN: ..for 45, 50... GEETA: Yeah?

STEVEN: ..we'd probably make a profit.

It's a very nice piece, isn't it?

So it's... STEVEN: I think it's very smart.

GEETA: ..worth thinking about.

STEVEN: It's been great watching her kind of learn and develop, because, initially, she was a bit hesitant.

But her confidence grew and grew, and, by today, she was actually looking at things saying, "I really like this," and I was saying, "Yes, it's an antique!"

So she got it and I love that.

Go, Geeta!

VO: Nothing's been decided on just yet, though... ..so shopkeeper Stuart can relax for the moment.

KRISHNAN: Hello.

GEETA: Do you remember these... ..on our wonderful piano teacher's shelves?

KRISHNAN: Yes.

GEETA: Whilst I used to have to sit and listen to you playing your scales badly, at least I could look at her beautiful crystal.

Well, not that badly.

GEETA: Well, quite badly.

I mean, did you pass your Grade 8 piano exam?

That's a slightly sore subject.

But, you know... Did I pass my Grade 8 piano exam?

KRISHNAN: Well, yes, but...

Yes... (LAUGHS) Thank you!

Glad we're just recording that for posterity.

KRISHNAN: (CHUCKLES) VO: Crikey.

On with the latest sibling struggle, please!

Krishnan.

Look at this.

Hello.

What do you think of the little owl?

KRISHNAN: Oh, it's pewter.

TIM: Yeah.

That's really nice.

Pewter's got quite a bit of history, actually.

It used to be referred to as poor man's silver.

And this owl is by Tudric who were the manufacturers of Pewter for Liberty & Co.

So, very fashionable.

TIM: Yeah, it was.

I mean, it started making Liberty pewter in the late 19th century through to the '30s.

So this would date to the early 20th century.

So it's sort of art nouveau is it?

TIM: It is, yeah.

Exactly that, yeah.

One of the most well-known designers was Archibald Knox.

On the bottom here, you can see a very faint patent number.

VO: Ticket price, £140, 10 more than they have.

TIM: Feel the weight of it.

KRISHNAN: Yeah, it is heavy.

TIM: Yeah, and... KRISHNAN: It's a really nice thing.

I mean, you know, the branding, it's a Liberty piece.

I can imagine people searching for this stuff online.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, people will have the word search Liberty.

I kind of think that that may be the thing.

Could be a wise old owl purchase, that.

KRISHNAN: OK. TIM: Yes.

VO: Gird your loins.

KRISHNAN: Stuart.

Hi.

Hi, Krishnan.

Hi.

KRISHNAN: Well, we really like this.

We were just wondering what you might be able to do on price, cuz it's a little bit out of our range.

STUART: 140.

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

How about 100?

TIM: That seems really generous.

KRISHNAN: That's great, yeah.

VO: They seem rightly pleased with that.

All done, with 30 left over.

KRISHNAN: That's great.

Thanks a lot.

TIM: Take care.

STUART: See you later, bye bye.

VO: It appears the others won't be buying this item, though.

Anything else?

GEETA: Steven, these look rather intriguing.

I found something you like!

STEVEN: Hurrah!

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Which one would you choose?

GEETA: I would choose this one.

STEVEN: OK.

It's by Longwy.

A continental factory who specialize in this very typically French art deco with this crackly glaze.

GEETA: Says it's very rare and it's £215.

Yeah, it's quite a bit more than we've got.

But this one...

This one has a connection to you.

It's from Lancashire.

Wonderful.

It's a lady artist called Gladys Rogers, who worked for Pilkington.

Before they made glass, they made ceramics as well.

Very good ceramics, typical of them.

So it's lusterware, high fired.

So you see, ha, actually, look, we're twinning yellow and red.

GEETA: It's our colors.

STEVEN: Exactly.

STEVEN: I think that's really smart.

Pilkington's very collectable.

VO: Priced at 155.

Affordable.

Just.

STEVEN: Which one would you like to buy?

I'll stand back.

GEETA: It's really hard, it's really hard, actually.

GEETA: This is my favorite... STEVEN: OK. ..but I think it might be too expensive.

VO: A word with the boss should help them decide.

GEETA: Hi there, Stuart.

STUART: Hello, Geeta.

GEETA: These two vases have caught our eye a little bit.

This one is very pricey because we have a limited budget.

STUART: We have 215 on that.

I think we could do 180.

GEETA: 180?

OK.. Good in darts, but still too much, isn't it?

GEETA: (SADLY) Yes.

STEVEN: Hmm.

STEVEN: What about the other one?

We could do that for 125.

GEETA: OK. STEVEN: Couldn't be 120?

I think we could squeeze to 120.

STEVEN: If I were to smile.

GEETA: Oh!

STUART: Excellent.

Thank you very much indeed.

GEETA: That's a deal.

STUART: Thank you.

VO: That leaves 38 unspent.

And our brother and sister are back together again, ready for the next part of the challenge.

So are you feeling confident?

About going to the auction?

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

GEETA: Erm... Not exactly, because I think I might make a loss.

The last auction I went to, I saw a lot sell for £18.5 million.

Oh, my word!

What was that?

It was the shredded Banksy... GEETA: Oh, wow.

KRISHNAN: ..at Sotheby's.

The whole room was, like, absolutely gripped as these two people bid and bid and kept, it kept going up and up and up.

So I'm kind of hoping it's going to be like that.

VO: Well, it might.

Shuteye first, though.

VO: Say hello to Swanmore, the delightful village where our broadcast journalists will be hoping to make headlines... ..at Pump House Auctions, selling in the room, on the net, and on the phone with James Jones, the man in charge.

No?

65, then, online.

Anywhere else?

VO: After rummaging around the home counties and acquiring quite a collection, our siblings have headed for Hampshire.

GEETA: Hi, how are you?

STEVEN: Hello!

TIM: Hello, how are you?

GEETA: Lovely to see you.

GEETA: Lovely to see you.

TIM: Hello.

Very good.

GEETA: Very excited.

KRISHNAN: Feeling lucky?

Come on!

GEETA: Come on.

STEVEN: There's no easy way... TIM: Let's have a look round.

It's already buzzing in there, I think.

VO: Geeta parted with £362 for her five auction lots.

Your thoughts, James, please?

JAMES: This little George VI Coronation stool is a great little item.

I think at one point it's been re-covered and that will affect the value a little bit today.

VO: Krishnan splashed out 370, also on five lots.

I think my favorite piece here today is the butcher's pig, just because I do like handmade things.

Quirky items always sell.

Pigs are very popular.

VO: Good news, eh?

Over to the investigative department.

So this is Geeta's other good buy.

TIM: Oh, nice... Yeah, lovely Royal Lancastrian vase.

I love this luster glaze.

I'd have that at home.

They paid 120 for it, so, again... That's quite punchy, isn't it?

Well... (SIGHS) I think it's actually quite reasonable.

KRISHNAN: Is it?

TIM: I think it's a nice thing.

TIM: It's in really nice condition.

Maybe we should be a bit worried, Krishnan.

I think this little wise owl might belong to our opponents.

(INHALES SHARPLY) That looks like Liberty.

And that looks like the Tudric range, which is this huge range of pewter... Mm-hm?

..which was mostly designed by Archibald Knox.

And it's very, very collectable.

GEETA: Is it?

STEVEN: Yes.

Is it marked?

Erm... Oh, you're asking me.

Can you see anything?

STEVEN: Oh, actually, I can't see a mark.

So, if it was marked, it would be worth how much?

That could be £400 or £500.

GEETA: Right.

STEVEN: But that might fly.

Ha!

Oh, very good!

VO: Try the veal, eh?

Now, take your seats, everyone.

TIM: Well, guys... KRISHNAN: So if I twitch... TIM: Yeah, don't twitch.

STEVEN: No.

TIM: Don't put your hand up.

STEVEN: Don't scratch your nose.

Unless it's on our lot.

I have a very itchy nose.

VO: Starting off with Krishnan's apothecary pan.

That's one of my favorites.

Yeah.

We both absolutely love this.

Your witch's cauldron.

Yeah, pretty much.

Erm, but we paid £25 for this.

That was so cheap.

This has something a little bit more unusual about it.

Shouldn't we be whispering how much we paid for things... ..cuz we're in a room full of people buying our stuff.

True.

Lovely, unusual piece there.

Straight in online there at 95.

Oh, wow.

TIM: Fantastic.

Straight in.

KRISHNAN: That's great.

JAMES: 95 there online... STEVEN: Boo.

100, anywhere else?

I will sell it online.

You won't find another.

KRISHNAN: No one in the room?

TIM: No one bidding.

JAMES: Sold online.

TIM: In and out.

KRISHNAN: Oh!

OK. GEETA: Well done.

Brilliant.

VO: Great start.

It's not always like this, though, Krishnan.

I think that means we're winning.

STEVEN: Eh... Yeah, one lot.

GEETA: Yes.

VO: Political caricature time.

Geeta's turn.

We've got our cartoon coming up next.

£22.

GEETA: Yes.

Do you think any interest in the room?

Er... Mm, it's a niche thing but it's a nice thing.

GEETA: Yes.

KRISHNAN: Niche, did you say?

STEVEN: I was whispering that to your sister!

This is the same sister who assured me there was no competition between you at all, whatsoever.

Great decorative piece, straight in with me on the books at £18.

£18 - we're almost there.

..with me now.

Is there 20?

20 now, then, back in the room.

I'm out.

Is there 20 now?

Is there 22?

20, then, in the room.

Selling 22 online, 24.

We're in profit.

TIM: Well done, guys.

STEVEN: £2 in profit.

JAMES: 24, then, in the room, selling and away... STEVEN: It's a £2 profit!

KRISHNAN: Well done.

Well done.

I feel so seen and validated.

VO: Good to know there's a market for antique satire.

I thought nobody was going to buy it at all.

I'm pretty pleased.

VO: Now for the auctioneer's pick.

In fact, he "squealy" liked him!

You're feeling good...

I'm feeling good about this.

This is the sort of thing I would have in my own kitchen.

GEETA: Really?!

TIM: I think it's a bit of fun.

It looks bizarre to me, I've got to say.

I wouldn't buy it.

It wasn't a lot of money, so... No, it was £25.

Shh!

Stop telling everybody what we paid!

We're in the right place for it.

Hampshire Hog.

GEETA: Yes!

JAMES: 55 there online, but I've got 60.

JAMES: Is there 65?

KRISHNAN: It's very desirable... GEETA: It is completely undesirable!

I've got 75.

Want 80?

85.

Do you want 90?

GEETA: Oh, my word!

STEVEN: No they don't.

TIM: Don't stop now.

GEETA: Unbelievable.

JAMES: 90 there.

I've got 95.

No?

95, then, with me.

TIM: Round it up.

Nice, round number.

JAMES: Don't lose it for a fiver.

95 with me, then.

Is there 100 anywhere else...?

JAMES: Sold to the book.

TIM: Well done.

GEETA: Unbelievable.

Well done.

KRISHNAN: Pretty good.

VO: That'll do, pig.

That'll do.

Pigs did fly.

VO: Lancastrian lusterware now.

Geeta's chance to shine.

This is a piece of Lancashire pottery, your neck of the woods.

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

GEETA: Exactly.

Painted by a female artist.

A female artist... GEETA: (LAUGHS) ..who was called Gladys, mind.

Gladys, Geeta.

Not that different.

It's something that would fit in a home just as well now as it did 100 years ago.

Having seen it just now, actually, I thought I would buy it.

Yeah, same.

I said exactly the same.

GEETA: Yes.

TIM: I think it's beautiful.

JAMES: 42 online.

Well, I've got 44, 46, 48 and 50 I can start it at.

JAMES: Is there 55...?

GEETA: Beautiful vase.

50 with me, then, on the book.

GEETA: Gorgeous vase.

TIM: That seems very cheap... No.

JAMES: Surely, 55.

I've got 60.

Is there 65?

Anyone interested in this lovely vase?

JAMES: 65 with me, then.

Is there 70 now anywhere else?

65 with me, then.

It's beautiful.

I'm going to sell it away... JAMES: ..to the books.

STEVEN: No... Last call for it... GEETA: No!

(LAUGHS) KRISHNAN: Oh, dear.

You liked that vase, didn't you?

I liked the vase!

TIM: Oh, dear.

GEETA: It's gorgeous.

VO: And someone's got it for a very nice price.

What a shame.

I'm sorry, guys.

That is disappointing.

Are you genuinely sorry?

Yeah, I would have happily bought it for that, yeah.

VO: Closely followed by another slightly risky purchase - Krishnan's scrapbook.

I've been thinking about this, and I'm a bit worried.

Oh, are you?

Have you got buyer's...?

This was our big spend.

It is beautiful.

It's a lovely thing.

TIM: Just imagine a little girl's mind when she was putting that scrapbook together.

She was traveling the world through her scrapbook.

GEETA: Yes.

STEVEN: It's the TikTok of 1850.

Yes, exactly.

Here with me to start it on the books.

With a £10 bid.

KRISHNAN: Oh, my goodness me.

TIM: We've got a long way to go.

20, 22, 24, 26, 28... TIM: Beautiful thing.

GEETA: Oh, look!

JAMES: 32, 34, 36, 38, 40.

GEETA: Wow.

JAMES: 42, 44, 46, 48 and 50.

KRISHNAN: Can we not go up in tens?

JAMES: 60, 65, 70.

Slowing down.

JAMES: 65.

STEVEN: Yep.

JAMES: It's only money.

It's only money.

JAMES: 65.

TIM: Oh, no.

JAMES: Is there 70 now anywhere else?

JAMES: Sold and away, then... TIM: Oh no.

STEVEN: I'm so sorry, Tim.

GEETA: Aw... GEETA: This is a new experience for you, isn't it, losing?

KRISHNAN: That's really bad.

GEETA: Losing money?

He's not used to it!

VO: It had to happen at some point, though.

Now I know how it feels.

Welcome to our world.

VO: Geeta's French compote dish is next.

Paris porcelain.

The factory patronized by Marie Antoinette no less.

Oh, wow.

But it's quite damaged, isn't it?

Oh, yes, now you say!

I was swayed by the mark on the back.

You thought it was hers?

No, but, you know, she might have been close to it once.

Straight in with me on the books at a £10 left bid.

Is there 12 now anywhere else?

12 now back in the room.

I'm out.

Is there 14 now anywhere else?

STEVEN: Come on... GEETA: Come on.

JAMES: 12 in the room?

Surely online?

Marie Antoinette, people.

JAMES: 12 in the room... Let them eat cake, I suppose.

STEVEN: Exactly!

Let them eat cake.

JAMES: 12 to the room, then... Sold and away.

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Oh, no!

VO: Swanley was unimpressed by its royal credentials.

Oh, dear.

But your good one is still to come, isn't it?

TIM: Yeah.

VO: We hope.

But first, the item that Tim really stood up for.

Now we've got the most unusual column, which I really like.

The actual...

I beg your pardon.

The stem itself, or the support, is reverse painted glass.

It's not marble, it's simulated marble... TIM: ..which I find fascinating.

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

What do you think of it?

You mean the knackered old green thing... STEVEN: ..with the top missing?

GEETA: (LAUGHS) KRISHNAN: It looks like a 1970s bathroom.

Great decorator's piece.

There only there at £10... Ooh, we've got a way to go.

JAMES: I've got 12 on the books.

Is there 14?

12 on the books.

14 there, then.

I've got 16.

Is there 18?

JAMES: 18 I've got.

TIM: There's bids online now.

JAMES: 22 there online now.

Is there 24 now anywhere else?

22, then, online.

24 now.

Oh, no, don't stop now.

Are we going to lose?

TIM: It's worth more than that.

JAMES: Sold and away.

STEVEN: Savor that moment.

JAMES: 22 there online only... GEETA: Oh... KRISHNAN: OK. STEVEN: I'm so sorry.

Well, we didn't lose a lot.

VO: Well said, Krishnan.

The philosophical approach.

It's swings and roundabouts, at the end of the day.

STEVEN: Sadly, my tiny violin is missing.

VO: Geeta's gavel now.

Surely a profit on this one.

Is there anybody in the room that hasn't got a gavel?

(LAUGHTER) I know!

Tools of the job.

Straight in with me on the books, the £20 left bid.

Oh, straight in £20.

Alright, OK... You're going to do alright on this.

JAMES: 28... GEETA: ..we haven't made a loss.

I'm out at 30 to the room.

It's a profit!

JAMES: It's 32, 34, 36 back in, 38 and 40.

This is such a nice feeling.

Keep going, keep going!

40, then, to the room.

Last call for it.

It's a lovely thing!

Sold and away... GEETA: Oh!

Wonderful.

STEVEN: Oh, a profit!

VO: Hey, Geeta's rallied with her wee bit of treen.

You can set up an auction house now.

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Come and see me later, I'll tell you how not to use it.

VO: Krishnan's last lot - the owl-shaped jug.

Will it fly?

Yeah, I think it will.

I think it will.

I'm quite confident on this one.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I really like it.

Fingers crossed.

JAMES: There at 160.

But that's not going to win it.

I've got 170 on the books.

Is there 180?

TIM: (GASPS) 190.

200.

210.

220.

230.

GEETA: Oh, my goodness!

JAMES: 230 with me, then.

That's a bargain.

Keep it going.

230 with me, then, on the books.

Remember, it's zero rivalry.

TIM: 230.

JAMES: 230.

JAMES: To the books.

STEVEN: Oh, well done... That's amazing.

Well done.

TIM: We doubled up.

KRISHNAN: That was good.

VO: A hoot, in fact.

The bidders thought it probably did have a famous name on it.

Is that what you expected?

That was a bit disappointing... GEETA: Was it?

KRISHNAN: Yeah.

What, were you wanting more?!

VO: Geeta does have one last chance.

Her biggest spend.

This is where we are either crowned the king and queen of antiques on our coronation stool... GEETA: Or?

STEVEN: Or... We're going home with our tail between our legs.

As stools go, it's a good sample.

I like it.

Do you have a phone bid on this one as well?

Yeah.

All ready, Martin?

There's a telephone bid... JAMES: Telephone bid as well.

We lowly start it at 12 online.

Is there 14?

14 there.

16 there?

We're not going to make it... JAMES: 20 there.

You've got someone in the room and a telephone bid.

And a telephone bid.

24, 26, 28, 30... Oh, come on, come on, come on.

JAMES: 32, 34.

That's brilliant.

Keep going.

JAMES: 36, 38.

GEETA: More, faster.

JAMES: 40.

Sure?

STEVEN: Torture!

JAMES: 38, then.

KRISHNAN: God, he's out... JAMES: 40, then.

42.

44 on the phone?

44, 46, 48.

And 50.

52, 55, 58.

TIM: There's somebody else here.

STEVEN: Still a long way off... 60, 62, 64.

STEVEN: Think of the king!

GEETA: (LAUGHS) 70 fresh bidder.

75.

Thank you, loyal subject.

75, is there 80 on the phone?

GEETA: Think of who's sat on it.

STEVEN: Yes.

85.

80 on the phone.

Anywhere else?

KRISHNAN: Oh, my goodness me.

GEETA: No... JAMES: 80, then, to the phone.

Last call for it... GEETA: (LAUGHS) Oh!

KRISHNAN: Ooph!

Ouch!

GEETA: My goodness.

TIM: The stool got stuck.

I don't want to gloat, but I mean... VO: Tempting, I'm sure, although Geeta seems to be taking likely defeat very well.

I'm sure it's my fault because I am brilliant at buying at top price.

Have you had fun so far?

I've had a lot of fun.

Shall we go out and figure out the numbers?

The bacon sandwich is on you two, Tim.

GEETA: (LAUGHS) VO: Quite.

It's not been the closest of contests, because after auction costs, Geeta made a loss of £180.78, leaving her with £219.22 in her piggy.

While Krishnan, also after costs, made a very tidy profit, leaving him with a final total of £445.74.

So he is victorious and all that profit goes to Children In Need.

..from the shock and the shame.

KRISHNAN: Well, well done.

TIM: Well done, yeah.

Thank you very much.

I think that makes us the winners.

Oh, I mean, don't sugar-coat it.

Well done, little brother.

Geeta, it's been an absolute pleasure.

Have you enjoyed antiques shopping?

That's the main thing.

Yeah, it's been a real eye opener.

Thank you very much.

Learned a lot.

I...I am not going to go shopping for anything without asking one of you two first.

TIM: Oh, brilliant.

GEETA: I might ask him... STEVEN: I was gonna say, yes, yes... VO: And finally... Quite nice to spend some time together, wouldn't you say?

KRISHNAN: "Quite" nice?

GEETA: (LAUGHS) Very nice to spend some time together.

But you did win, so I think we should have Road Trip take two just to give me another shot.

Alright.

Antiques Road Trip take two.

VO: Until then.

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